On Being a Twin

This is all I've ever known.

I realized that I've never really written about what it's like to be a twin...I think I'll start today...although I'm not really sure where to start. 

Being a twin is who I am everyday of my life and that can be really hard to describe.

My sister and I understand each other unlike any other relationship I've known. My other third (that would be my husband) and I are soul mates and we know each other better than most people know us...yet my sister and I have possibly an even stronger bond, a different kind of bond.

We have such a strong sense of each other. We always tell people, "We just know." 

We know what the other is feeling at most moments because 99.99999% of the time we are feeling the exact same way ourselves. We think the same. We act the same. We sound the same. Our toes are the same.

When I wrote the other day about finding myself and being happy with 'me' I realized that maybe I haven't truly felt myself since my sister and I went off to different colleges six years ago...then she left for grad school...and now she's 2,000 miles away.  I know I have to know myself on my own without my sister, but maybe the 'us' is truly who 'me' is. Does that make any sense? When I saw my sister over spring break I was so incredibly happy. I was myself...I could act silly and stupid and not care who saw. I spoke my mind...I tried new things.  

So I guess being a twin sometimes is complicated and yet at the same time is one of the most amazing things on earth. 

Just Five Minutes PLEASE!!

I don't have any kids of my own yet, but I think being the mother of two, two year old cats is giving me the training I need.

I seriously only want five minutes to myself...five minutes without anyone typing on the computer keyboard...five minutes without anyone dipping their paw into my drink...five minutes without having to rescue anyone from the bookshelf they now cannot get down from.

The minute I shut ANY door there are poor pitiful cries and little black paws reaching under the door. "PLEASE MOM! Please let me in! I need you NOW! I just love you is all." 

(I may remember being this obnoxious to my mom when I was little.  Anytime she was in the bathroom or was taking a rest..."Mom? Mommy? Are you in there? Are you sleeping? Is dinner ready yet?") 

Fresh Air

Yesterday I really needed some fresh air.

One of my students came up to me and said, "Do you want to smell my backpack?"

His backpack is leather so I said, "Why? Does it smell like leather?"

"NO!!! IT'S REALLY STINKY!"

...then I would love to

Later, someone had some issues in the bathroom and being a Kindergarten classroom we are privileged to have two bathrooms just feet from everything.  It has its ups and downs. You can probably guess the downside pretty quickly. Let's just say I probably never ever want to have a five year old boy of my own...gross.

When I got home from work it was beautiful outside. The trees are all in bloom and they smell so sweet.  Martin and I decided to go for an evening stroll around the neighborhood.  I love going for walks...we have a beautiful bike path 50 feet from our front door, but somehow we ended up on a busy Denver street. So with cars whizzing by us we walked as the sun set, held hands, and smelled the fresh spring air.  I think I want to live in one of those pink flowering trees. Maybe plant one in my classroom to disguise any odd smells that waft from the bathrooms.

Happy

I have to get something off my mind.  

Some of you may find this very hard to believe and some of you may be nodding your head agreeing really loudly as I tell you this.  I'm probably the most pessimistic person you'll ever meet.  I honestly try so hard every day to see the good, the great, the amazing things that are happening in my life. I don't know why it's so hard for me... 
I'm so exhausted feeling this way.  

There have been some tears lately as I'm trying to figure 'me' out. Somedays I make it WAY worse and somedays I feel happy just being me, not relying on anybody or anything.  It's really hard for me to just be me.  I don't like to do ANYTHING by myself...which I highly blame on being a twin.  Maybe that's partly why I don't really know myself.  I've always had someone by my side. I didn't need to be just 'me'...it was always 'us'   

Anyways, I'm starting my journey of happiness. I want to be happy, adventurous, out going and shout from the roof tops.  

I'm not ready to shout anything today...but I was walking down the hall the other day and one of our para professionals (who is 83 years old) stopped me and told me I looked beautiful, so alive, and happy.  I almost gave her a hug.  It was like she knew I needed to hear those words.  With my eyes watering as I continued to walk I realized that I was happy. My students had walked down the hallway perfectly and it smelled like rain outside.  

It truly is the little things...

germs

Today I woke up with a sore throat. Half of my class seems to have a cough and cold and you know how good five year olds are at covering their mouths...


"Achoo!"
"Cover your mouth please!"
"Cough, Cough, Hack, Hack"
"Cover your mouth please!"
"Achoo!"
...ewww I felt that one

I went back to bed and slept for another five hours this afternoon. I cannot be sick! We have too much end of the year testing at school :( 

I think the perfect cure for myself is to snuggle with my sweet little children...annnddd maybe take some medicine. 

Just An Average Thursday

It's been raining for two days straight here.  It almost never rains and I love it!

Yesterday we started the school day off with kids running inside from morning recess because of the rain.

Then the power went out about four times. It's really inconvenient when everything is technology based at school now.  Every time the power went out you could hear the whole school scream...it was quite entertaining. 

Secretly though every time the lights turned off I held my breath and prayed they wouldn't turn back on...but no such luck.

Then at about 2:00 I noticed some really really scary black clouds moving in.  I stopped my students from their math stations and had them come look out the window. 

Me: Look, maybe we'll get another rain storm to help the grass grow green.

Student: It looks really scary!

Me: It's probably just another thunder storm like we had yesterday.

Just as I finished my last word the tornado siren went off. 
Great.

Me: Line up everyone! ABC order! Hugs and bubbles."

Student: Are we going to die!?

Me: No friends! We're safe inside. Everyone has to go sit in the hallway incase there's a tornado.

Student: What's a tornado!?

After sitting in the hall for a good twenty minutes, trying to calm down all the worries, we were dismissed back to class where we looked at some pictures of tornados. Sometimes I forget how new everything is to a five year old. 

Today is gloomy and rainy...and we could have some snow by tonight.  I just want to curl up, watch some movies, and take a nap.  Oh well...it's Friday and we only have 19 days of school left :) 

Remember Prom?

Prom season is in the air...
I got to go to my senior Prom with my now husband, which makes it extra special.
He picked me up in his tan Geo...wearing his nicest black suite. He looked very handsome. 

(who knew the next time we would be this dressed up we would be saying, "I do"?)


I was nervous...excited.
We drove to his parent's house and his dad took pictures.
Martin asked me to come to his room for a minute before we headed off to see his mom at work.  He pulled out a tiny box...a tiffany blue box with a white ribbon.  It was the most beautiful ring.

I couldn't stop smiling! At the dance I held out my hand for all my girlfriends to see.  

We danced and danced...well tried to.  I taught Martin all my swing dancing moves and he did his best to keep up :)


It was everything Prom should be...magical

Wordless Wednesday

Twitterpated

I am in love with a man named Martin.

I love being married to Martin. Marriage is amazing and wonderful and exciting. But sometimes marriage is hard. You are combining two souls together. Two different individuals. I didn't think things would change too much when Martin and I got married last summer.  We had been together for so long, been through a lot...I thought it would be pretty much the same as it had been for the last seven years.  When people ask me what's different between dating and being married I have a really hard time putting it into words...it's more a feeling. 

I think it's knowing that you've committed your lives together...knowing that even when things get tough you can't just walk away, you have to stay together, work together, love together.  It's a stronger bond then when we were just dating. It's the ultimate commitment and partnership of love and trust.  I know it sounds cheesy but I truly feel honored that my husband chose me to live by his side and grow old with him. It is the most amazing feeling to know someone cares for you and loves you that much that even on your worst day you're are still the one person they want to come home to...and be twitterpated with :)

Rainy Day

First Spring rain...ahhhh smells so good!

Laughing

I got to talk to my sister on Skype tonight...it felt so good to laugh until we both couldn't breathe and we had sufficiently annoyed Bobby.

 Now my day can end perfectly. 

My Family

Dear Family,
Today we started All About My Family.  My students were so excited when I showed them a picture of all of us together a couple Easters ago.  "WOW!! Is that your family?!" I was so proud to say it was.  I went down the line and told them who each of you were...even though they've met everyone except for YOU DADDY!  They were talking about all of you like they had known you for years.  "Yeah...that's her sister Elizabeth because she has curly hair...no that's her twin sister not her older sister because she looks just like Mrs. Wolfe! Mrs. Wolfe's dad has a beard not a mustache." 
I then attempted to catch your personalities on paper...how'd I do?  They helped me as I drew, shouting out your individual features they've come to know well through all my other drawings..."No! Your mom has short hair that's wavy! You forgot your dad's nose!"  
When I hang up my story along the windows I'll have your cartoon faces watching out for me...reassuring me I'm doing my best...maybe laughing at me...maybe learning something about me. 
Come visit me soon! 
Love,
Jessica

Wordless Wednesday

Sigh...

Today after dismissing the last row of kids to go start their letter 'I' practice I noticed something on the purple square.

It looked like blood at first, but no one was screaming for immediate medical attention...even the slightest scratch, even if you need a microsope to view it, will get kids running for help and a bandaid. 

After a minute of getting up my courage to touch it (hey you never know) I discovered it was crayon. Seriously?! They could have at least colored on the red square so I wouldn't have noticed.

I called my student over who happened to sit in that square and asked if he had a red crayon.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Just as he turned away to head to his chair a red crayon fell from his hand.
smooth move

Then this afternoon my students found the name 'Miguel' written very neatly on the coat hooks.  Hmmmm...I wonder who it could have been? I called both Miguels over.
Miguel #1: "I DIDN'T DO IT!!"
Me: "You don't even know what I'm going to ask you."
a little smoother still...

I don't understand when these things are happening.  I pride myself in trying to always know what's going on in my classroom, who's up to what mischief...
I had a parent upset the other day that her daughter was being bullied and spit at.  I seriously was dumbfounded! When was this happening? I hadn't witnessed any of this and the child had never said anything to me. The parent assured me it was happening in the classroom and not on the playground (yeah because you're there when it's happening right?) Anyways, I told the parent I would talk to her daughter and the others involved to try solve the problem. Then she said, "I told her she needs to defend herself. If she gets hit I told her to hit back." My blood seriously began to boil. WHAT?! That is THE WORST parenting advice EVER! I looked at the parent point blank and said, "Well then your daughter is going to get into trouble too."


so there! 
Haha sometimes I just want to yell back like a five year old...that'll teach 'em!

Weekend Recap

My weekend went a little something like this...

Yesterday I met up with my lovely husband for lunch.  He works right by a teacher store which equals spending all my money in five minutes.  I found a few things I needed...I really did need them 

Last night we ventured out after 8pm...WOA that never happens! It was an emergency, Martin needed new shoes for work pronto! We had to drive all the way to Lakewood just to get what he wanted. Not that I'm complaining...I was glad to spend a little time with the person I live with, but never see.
   

Today has been very lazy.

I sat outside, painted my nails, read, took a nap.

I tried to take Wilson out on his leash...but I had to take him back inside.  There were all these dogs out and comparing them on a leash to my little friend on a leash was embarrassing. Plus I think the dog owners were quietly laughing in their heads at me. 

Now I'm off to the grocery store.  Our fridge looks like a bachelor pad's.  Chocolate milk and beer. 

I've literally eaten bread and honey all weekend long. 

I hope you had a wonderful weekend and you were able to do at least one thing you wanted. 

p.s. I have a new song I can't stop listening to...Wavin' Flag by K'naan...I had to add it to my dance mix (my dance by myself when no one is watching mix)

...that summer

It was such a beautiful summer morning...

(photo by Nancy Nibbe)

I've been thinking a lot about our wedding day lately. This time last year I was enjoying the last few weeks of teaching fourth grade, getting ready to teach summer school, preparing to teach kindergarten and getting all the last details into place for our big day. 

That time was so exciting, new, and wonderful.

Ahhhh, I've been feeling very nostalgic this week for some reason.  I think it's the warm air and sunshine :) 

me today

Today I am...

happy that it's warm outside

glad tomorrow's Friday

a little frustrated

a little sad

thankful for the life we've been given

hungry

tired

nostalgic

missing my sister

hoping The Office is new tonight so I can have a good laugh

excited to see Martin

What a Wonderful World

...that is my recent clean up song.

I needed something that I could listen to 10 times a day...skills clean up, literacy center clean up, writing clean up, math station clean up, social studies clean up...etc.

It's pretty cute when my whole class of five and six year olds is singing along with Louis Armstrong :)

However today the song was not radiating butterflies and rainbows. Have you ever seen Goodmorning Vietnam? When they use that song in the movie it's played over towns exploding and people dying...very ironic.

My classroom was like a war zone today. As the song was playing during math clean up I just stood there watching...everything was in slow motion. Students were shouting across the room, twirling, hopping, jumping, leaving their mess on the floor or table.  One student seriously dropped the bucket of cubes twice...TWICE! BOOM! Then another student dropped 60 stegosaurus spikes and another student dropped 30 gold coins. KABOOM! "MRS. WOLFE!!! HE LOOKED AT ME! MRS. WOLFE HE THREW THE DICE ACROSS THE FLOOR!" BOOM!....and I think to myself...what a wonderful world.

After the clean up song had ended half my class was not on the rug (that's their goal...to be on the rug when the song ends), stations were not put away, and there was black marker scribbled all over a table.  

Suddenly the room grew very quiet.  My students noticed I wasn't saying a word, I wasn't moving...what is she going to do next?!

Ahh the silent treatment is deadly. I slowly raised my eyebrow...a talent every teacher should have...and began to silently walk across the room to the mess.  My students' eyes followed me and they didn't say a word.  I simply pointed to everything that was out of place and sure enough the guilty parties got up to fix it.

I'm tired.

I hear we only have about thirty days left of school. 

I'm hoping I survive...I'll let you know. 

Not on my side

Today seems to be on of those days where my husband is not on my side.  We all have those days...but didn't he know that when he signed our marriage license that he was actually signing to always agree with me NO MATTER WHAT?

I guess he forgot....I'll go remind him in a minute :)

I just showed him this really cool video that my mom showed me this weekend. 

Me: Isn't that the coolest thing! 

Martin: They sure wasted a lot of gas flying him all around the world.


ummm that wasn't really the response I was looking for. 
Maybe you'll like it better...it is pretty cool.

Raking, bangs, and Easter

I can't believe school starts again tomorrow...why does the week always fly by so fast when you don't want it to?

I had another pretty busy weekend. Yesterday I drove home with my sister and brother-in-law. We had our annual raking day at my parent's house.

We were instructed not to leave a single stick in the grass...I think we were successful.

Then I was off to my hair appointment where I boldly made the decision to get bangs.  You may be thinking, "What's the big deal? It's just bangs."  But bangs can change everything about the way you look!

 They're slowly growing on me. My husband hasn't even seen my new hairdo yet...I hope he at least likes them. 

We celebrated Easter today together as a family...minus Kate and Bobby and Martin. I hated that he had to work on a holiday and I hated that Kate and Bobby were 2,000 miles away.  It just doesn't feel the same without everyone.  Ho hum...maybe next year.

After eating lunch we were able to go on a nice walk around the neighborhood. It felt just like spring today...finally! 

Hope you had a nice springy weekend too!

Florida Adventure #2

My sister works smack dab in the middle of the Everglades.
It's a pretty cool place to work if you ask me...when people ask me where I work I say, "Between a scary street and another scary street with gangs and dollar stores."


When she steps outside she is surrounded by tropical foliage, birds chirping, panthers, bears, and alligators...oh my 

What's also cool about where my sister works is that she works on the Seminole Tribe Reservation.  The tribe is it's own sovereign nation so the tribe doesn't have to listen to anybody if it doesn't want too...just kidding (kind of), but they do have their own laws, police, schools...etc. Hmmm maybe someday I'll be working at the Seminole Tribe's elementary school :)

The tribe runs the swamp tours of the everglades and that is exactly what we had come to do. 

We also stopped by my sister's work... 

and walked along the mile boardwalk...only screaming a few times because of the large dinosaur-ish insects

If you ever get a chance to visit the Everglades you won't be disappointed. It's a world of it's own and it's beautiful beyond words...plus I know a pretty good tour guide named Kate 

Florida Adventure #1

We drove up to Boca Raton for a day at the beach.

It was a little cloudy.

A little windy.

A bit chilly.

So much for my bronzed golden skin I was going to get.

We still had fun

...we found our new home

saw lots of jelly fish

had a picnic 

(Martin ate a Lunchable...well tried anyways)

Florida Adventure

We're Home!

We had a great trip!

It's always good to be back home...but it was really hard saying goodbye and I wish I had had just a few more days. I guess I'll just start planning my next trip...

Kate and Bobby live in a really nice neighborhood...surrounded by lots and lots of retired people. Their place is cute and even though I don't think my sister feels like Florida is really home yet, she's done a good job making her home feel like home.

I'll post some more about our trip later! Right now the laundry is calling my name.