A post about exercise...say whhhaat??
The last time I did any sort of exercise was in October when I was 'encouraged' to run a mile with my first grade students. I was completely embarrassed as I crossed the finish line with all the moms and dads cheering and wanting to give me a giant high five. My family will tell you that I am not a high fiving-throw your arms up into the air kind of girl...go team go! moments embarrass the heck out of me. My husband tries to give me a high five at least once a day...:)
I'm pretty sure the last time I had run a mile before that was in junior high when we would sneakily cut corners just so the torture would be over faster. I was never very athletic, despite my dad's enthusiasm and effort to get one of his daughter's to stick with some sort of sport. Now that I think of it though, I dominated four square and kick ball in elementary school so maybe I do have some athletic talent after all...
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Rewind 18 months ago and I was 100 months pregnant and weighed 55 pounds more than I do now. I had gone from eating pretty strict Paleo to whatever my pregnant self wanted to eat. My 5'3 frame did not hide the weight well and it's been a slow process for the weight to come off. None the less, I'm proud of myself for losing over 50 lbs with just changing my diet.
So the weight is off, but things do not look the same a t a l l. I truly don't mind the stretch marks here and there because they are my mark of motherhood. I grew a child inside of me and there is nothing more important or sacred to me.
When Everdeen was just a teeny tiny being inside of me I worried about my self esteem and how I would teach my own daughter to love herself, to stand proud, and to be confident when I rarely felt those things. 18 months have passed and my sweet girl is watching, listening, and learning from everything I do. I want her to see that her mama can be strong and confident. It's not about a number on the scale or the size of pants I can wear...I want to feel proud of myself, maybe even enough to give someone a high five..but don't push your luck ;). And so my journey to self love (and to be honest, looking decent in a swimming suit wouldn't hurt) is just beginning.
My husband is a great CrossFitter and has built his own home gym in our garage. It's only been a week and I am just as sore as when I gave birth, but I haven't quit and to me that is a huge accomplishment.