Thursday, January 21, 2010


If you know me well you know I hate change. 
 It makes me anxious.  
It makes me uncomfortable. 
 It makes me sad. 

 Yesterday Martin had to say goodbye to his beloved BMW.  I didn't even get to say goodbye.  I know it's just a car and it wasn't even my car, but these things make me sad.  When I sold my car I thought I would get to say goodbye.  My dad and I walked out of the dealership, I was on cloud nine.  Then I noticed my car was gone.  Where had they taken it? What if it thought I had abandoned it?  Would it go to a good home?  Me, my sister, and her boyfriend, Bobby, have this strange disorder where we think inanimate objects have feelings.  It's weird I know. 

Then there's saying goodbye to my apartment.  This was the first place where I lived on my own. Where I grew up a bit. Where I started my life with my new husband. I love our new apartment, but I'm sad to leave the familiar. 

This is my house. Was my house. It's the house I grew up in. My sister and I still can't drive by it when we come home. It's too hard and too sad. Kate stole a bunch of things from our house to remind her of what was...a doorknob, wallpaper, a piece of the bush from the backyard. 

I always wonder why some people go through life not flinching at the site of change while for some of us it is a huge process every time something looks, feels, or smells different.  I wish I could be brave and look change in the face with courage. 

I'll try. 

I'll be strong and not look back...maybe


  1. Life is all about changes. It's how you embrace those changes that make the difference.