Sunday, May 20, 2012

8 Months

It's hard to believe that I'm already 8 months pregnant. I remember filling in my planner with each week of pregnancy starting with the week we found out, 3 weeks...33 weeks seemed so far away.  It would be the last week of school and I kept trying to imagine how I would be feeling.  Probably very tired, swollen ankles and probably very ready to be done with school.  I imagined right :) 
I have two more days of school left and about a million things to do before I turn in my keys.  I don't want to think about school anymore. I feel like this time before her arrival is so precious and I'm losing this precious time recording test scores and organizing my classroom for next year.  I want to start preparing for her, getting her things ready.  I want to get my mind ready for this incredible journey that we're about to take because most days I don't feel ready.   
I feel like my emotions have been running wild these past few weeks. Every time I think of holding our tiny baby in my arms my eyes fill with tears. Every time I think about the responsibility of bringing a tiny baby into this world, my eyes fill with tears. All the things still left to do.  All the things I won't know how to do until she actually comes.  Praying that Martin and I will be the best parents we know how to be for our daughter. 
I know everything will work out because it always seems to. I know that if the changing table doesn't get painted that life will go on. I feel like I'm preparing for a test that I can't truly prepare for and that makes me feel like I'm failing. 
I'm ready to start the most important summer job I've ever had...becoming a mother.  I think once our baby girl makes her appearance into this world safely I will feel at ease.  I know most things will come naturally and the things that don't, well, we will just have to learn them together.  

2 comments :

  1. That's a cute picture of the three of you!

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  2. You and your hubby are glowing! I can't wait to see you both holding your beautiful baby girl. I am feeling you on the school thing. I am in my last week too and just want to shut the doors and start planning for my baby. We've spent our whole careers taking care of other people's kids...can you believe it's our turn to have our own? Good luck on your last days of school!

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