8 Months

It's hard to believe that I'm already 8 months pregnant. I remember filling in my planner with each week of pregnancy starting with the week we found out, 3 weeks...33 weeks seemed so far away.  It would be the last week of school and I kept trying to imagine how I would be feeling.  Probably very tired, swollen ankles and probably very ready to be done with school.  I imagined right :) 

I have two more days of school left and about a million things to do before I turn in my keys.  I don't want to think about school anymore. I feel like this time before her arrival is so precious and I'm losing this precious time recording test scores and organizing my classroom for next year.  I want to start preparing for her, getting her things ready.  I want to get my mind ready for this incredible journey that we're about to take because most days I don't feel ready.   

I feel like my emotions have been running wild these past few weeks. Every time I think of holding our tiny baby in my arms my eyes fill with tears. Every time I think about the responsibility of bringing a tiny baby into this world, my eyes fill with tears. All the things still left to do.  All the things I won't know how to do until she actually comes.  Praying that Martin and I will be the best parents we know how to be for our daughter. 

I know everything will work out because it always seems to. I know that if the changing table doesn't get painted that life will go on. I feel like I'm preparing for a test that I can't truly prepare for and that makes me feel like I'm failing. 

I'm ready to start the most important summer job I've ever had...becoming a mother.  I think once our baby girl makes her appearance into this world safely I will feel at ease.  I know most things will come naturally and the things that don't, well, we will just have to learn them together.