Saturday, March 5, 2011


Oh no.
It's started again.
I'm thinking.
Where do I want this life of mine to take me?
What do I want to accomplish?
Where do i want to be?

I blame it on Martin.
His life is changing right now and maybe I want something in my life to be changing too.
He is finally doing what he's always dreamed, venturing off to Europe, more cooking. 

When he gets back from his European adventure, it will be time for him to find a job. Times are tough out there, there's no doubt about that.  But if we stay where it is safe, will we miss out on life, on where we are supposed to be?? Is this our chance to do something crazy? Adventurous? Break away from the ordinary and just go for it? 
I've been a homebody my entire life, my family can vouch for that. 
I feel comfortable at home.  But there has been an undeniable stirring inside of me that where we go next might just become my "home"

I blame it on my twin sister.
She is far away in Florida.
Most days I want to be there, with her.
I don't care if I have to live on a park bench as long as I can see her everyday. Do I want to take a risk and move to be near her? What if the Florida humidity makes my hair even more frizzy?

I blame it on feeling like anywhere is better than here right now.
Why do I feel this way? I'm so fortunate and blessed and lucky. But I don't want to pretend anymore. Even if it takes five more years, I want to work towards going where Martin and I can make a home for ourselves.  Where we both can walk outside and say, "Ahhh, it's beautiful here and this is where we are supposed to be." 


  1. i know the feeling! it's hard when you don't quite feel like where you are is where you want to end up. my husband and i talk about it all the time. hope you find where your home is supposed to be!

  2. You will figure it out and we will all be here to support your decision ~Elizabeth

  3. Ooh I cant wait to see what you decide. I'm with Kate, go big

    <3, New Follower
    Come get a dose of laughter at A Taste of T

  4. It will come in due time! Hang in there! PS Your picture is so cute :)

  5. I KNOW that feeling all too well. I keep reminding myself that I'm only 25 (ooo...soon to be over the hump to 26! ah!) and I have plenty of time ahead of me to get to where I want to be. I was stuck in that feeling for a long time though when I needed to get out of my hometown in Georgia, where I had been all my life.

    I dream of living in a faraway land (Europe?!) and hope one day we can make the dream come true.

    I hope you and Martin figure out what is best for you :)