Saturday, January 17, 2015

Can we talk about the 'terrible twos'?

When Everdeen was a wee baby, 6:30 became the most dreaded hour of the day...our witching hour. She would cry and cry and we could never figure out why.  We would bounce until our rear ends were numb on the exercise ball,  put on white noise, and follow every step in the Happiest Baby on the Block book.  Some nights we had relief, but others were long and exhausting.   Besides those few months at the beginning, Everdeen has been the happiest, calmest, most easy going baby.  We have been blessed to say the least.  We even naively thought we had missed the "terrible twos".  Here she was at 2 1/2 and we had yet to see that infamous toddler behavior.  Sure we've had some moments that have not been so fun, but overall it's been pretty easy sailing.

But oh, these past few weeks...we have a new witching hour.  The moment Everdeen gets home from daycare she exerts her independence and new found vocabulary she undoubtedly is trying out on her classmates.  "Mama, you stop it! That not okay! Walk away!" Reeeaaal nice.  

But our biggest challenge has been bedtime.  Our once sweet, calm, and easy bedtime has changed drastically.  To say our little one loves to hear stories is the biggest understatement of the universe. Everdeen could listen to stories for hours and trust me she has.  We read from chapter books and read her favorite picture books over and over again.  And the moment we close the book the screaming and flailing begins.  It's hard to watch such a tiny human be so upset over, what seems to us to be small mundane things.  She is learning this world, learning boundaries and expectations and it's hard for little ones to grasp sometimes.  I know our consistency  will pay off and that the time and energy we are putting in now will make future parenting much easier.  At least until middle school ;) I can see how these toddler years are a pivotal turning point...giving in because of pure exhaustion seems like a brilliant idea when bedtime is taking two hours, but Martin and I take a deep breath and continue on. 

We've seen small glimmers of hope that things will return back to the way they were soon.  After the "Daddy go away" we'll hear "Ooooh! You made that dinner for me? Ooooh thank you Daddy!"  Or Everdeen will say as we walk upstairs to bed, "I'm not going to throw a fit tonight, Mama."  We definitely have our days filled with melt your heart moments too, but during a screaming fit it can be hard to remember sometimes.  

Often times I feel like the terrible twos are a taboo subject...no one talks about tantrums and screaming because who wants their child to be categorized as 'terrible'? Maybe we shouldn't look at this stage of life as terrible, but as a prime opportunity to teach and guide our children.  We should look at this time as a chance to really nurture and love on our little ones when they need it the most, as they are learning right from wrong.  Maybe us mamas should share more of the not so picture perfect moments so that we can feel relieved, even normal that it's not just our toddler throwing a tantrum over the color of cup they are drinking their milk from...because obviously the pink cup makes the milk taste much better.

Any words of wisdom or advice from those of you have survived this stage or are going through this same thing now would be much appreciated :)

10 comments :

  1. Um, you might've just categorized a certain boy I know. Only he is having problems at daycare and being mean sometimes. But then in a moment he becomes sweet and snugly. You can share with me anytime and we can both laugh at our little friends.

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    1. Thanks Lyette! I'm so glad we are going through this all together!!

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  2. I'm just glad I have you to come to when Eva reaches this stage, I can then learn from the best! You are a wonderful and patient mom, Everdeen is the luckiest!

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    1. :) You're the sweetest! You can come to me anytime...even though I probably won't have the answers! haha

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  3. Oh boy, does some of this sound familiar! Lucy is an EXTREMELY independent little thing, wants to do everything herself and sometimes pitches a major fit if we try to do something for her, like pull her pants back up after she goes pee pee, haha! She is learning so much right now, talking so much, dressing herself, gaining so much independence that I know it is a lot for her little self to process and sometimes she hits overload and a tantrum happens. Usually when she's wayyyy over tired. She is not napping much anymore, much to my disappointment, so we have to do an earlier bedtime and if we miss the good window of opportunity, watch out! We had a few weeks there of really terrible bedtimes, she has never been easy to get to sleep, but it seems she's doing a little better now again. I just did bedtime tonight for both girls and I'm proud to say things went smoothly! (Darin's playing a show tonight) But that definitely included at least four books and, after lights out, five stories I told all while nursing Polly to sleep on my other side, haha! It's a lot of work, and they are so mercurial at this age, I find myself cringing if I lose my patience, only to be beaming a few minutes later at something I'm so proud of, just like you said. A nice calm "can I have it please?" or "Here, Chach, you can borrow this one."

    Everdeen is such a wonderful little soul. I know our girls would play so well together. It's so good for her to be learning her boundaries too, even saying no, walk away! Rude as it seems, it shows how much she trusts her mommy and daddy that she can try out such powerful phrases on you ;)

    I send lots of virtual love and support! I'm sure you'll see her turn a corner and some of this behavior will start to improve greatly. That good little girl is her basic personality and she has soooo much goodness to give the world. Great job you guys, seriously.

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    1. Thank you Heather for your kind and encouraging words!! It sounds like we are going through exactly the same thing! And you are right...the sweet Everdeen we know is the true Everdeen :) Virtual love and support to you too!!

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  4. Those days go by so quickly, though I am sure right now it doesn't feel that way. For today she is yours, all yours. Once school starts it feels like they are never yours again. It is the natural order of life but I miss it and now get to watch my grandchildren going through it, but some how it is not the same.....

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    1. Thank you for your words of wisdom! Sometimes it's hard to see past those moments, but they are still moments I know I will cherish when she's all grown up!

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  5. Oh this is all so true! Ell is much like Everdeen and is the happiest, sweetest little Miss, but boy has three been challenging. I'm so lucky to have some close girlfriends who have kids at the same age so we can share and vent our joy and frustrations. Some days are just so hard, and my patience is tested beyond measure. You know, as teachers, we feel like we are trained to be that way, but having Mom patience is SO completely different!

    Hang in there. Hold on to the sweet moments. I find they happen WAY more often then the bad ones! XO

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment!! I completely understand about the difference between mom and teacher patience! And you are right, the sweet moments happen way more and those are the ones I need to think about! :)

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