38 w e e k s

While Colorado is in the midst of a record breaking heat wave and hundreds of thousands of acres are being burned across our state, my very pregnant belly and I have been lying low trying to keep cool and my swollen feet under control.  Each afternoon as the clouds roll in we pray for rain that will help ease the heat and fires, but the lightning is causing more forest fires than the firefighters can keep up with. It's been a sad and devastating couple of weeks here.

 We just heard on the news the other day that this is the worst time for babies to be born in Colorado because of the poor air quality.  Someday we'll tell our baby girl all about how she was born the summer of the fires. I want to be somewhere refreshing and cool...feeling the ocean spray on my face.  While we're suffering from a lack of rain, my sister in Florida hasn't seen the sun in a week and could probably float to work...  

I've been spending the hot days napping and simply thinking...and wondering if each little twinge I feel is going to lead to labor soon. I still don't know if I have my mind completely ready for what I am about to do, and maybe I really can't until labor has started.  Martin and I have been planning and preparing for a natural child birth and my greatest fear right now is that something out of our control will prevent us from having that experience. I've been trying to put my energy and fears into things I can control like practicing all of my optimal fetal positions that our doula has taught us, reading positive birth stories, and talking to our sweet baby about when she'd like to come out and meet us. 

I am so so thankful that we have made it to 38 weeks. I am so thankful that we have a healthy baby growing stronger and stronger every day and that I have this time off to enjoy my last few weeks of pregnancy. 

Okay baby girl, whenever you're ready, we're ready to meet you :)