54

Today the sun felt so rejuvenating.

It was 54 degrees during afternoon recess and we soaked up the sun on the backs of our legs.  I know to most, temperatures in the 50s are still very cold. When it's 54 degrees where my sister lives in Florida, people take cover and pull out their Ugg boots and scarves. Here in Colorado, we walk around in tank tops and capri pants and exclaim how hot it finally is outside. 

We watched our students run wild without their coats on and for the first time in a long time they weren't going to get frost bite. One of my students rejoiced so loudly, "It's WARM!! It's WARM!" as she skipped around in circles.  We even walked extra slowly back inside after the fire drill just so we could feel the warm sun on our faces for a few more seconds. 

But it's just a tease. It's supposed to snow again tomorrow.  Is it like this every year? Snow after snow after snow? Or maybe I'm just so anxious for spring to arrive that winter is taking extra long just to be mean.  

Either way, I needed today. I've filled my spirit with warm sunshine and can dream about how in a few weeks Spring will be here and the world will begin to thaw. 

She'll Be My Little Bird

I came across the song Oh My Mama a while ago...before I ever knew I would have a daughter.  It was mentioned on quite a few blogs and the moment I heard it I couldn't get it out of my head. I listened to it over and over and dreamed that someday these words would speak true to my own life. 

The day we found out we were having a little girl I found the song again, tucked away in my iTunes library. As I listened to it, I couldn't help but begin to cry...maybe it was just my crazy hormones acting up again or maybe I realized at that exact moment that I'm going to be a mama to a beautiful daughter soon. That I'm giving her this life.  That it will be my responsibility to give her the wings she needs to someday fly off on her own. 

 I can't think of a more beautiful way to say it...

Nephew Love

Little Sanford, you melt my heart every time I see you.

we're half way little girl :)

I feel like my sense of time doesn't exist anymore. Time feels like it has flown by, but yet at the same time, it feels so slow.  Sometimes it even feels stuck, like the snow that just won't melt this time of year. There is so much to think about and prepare for and then time seems to speed up again, but then I remember I am growing a tiny person inside of me and time slows down. She needs time to grow and I'm perfectly content with having my little girl so close to me for twenty more weeks. 

When we had our appointment yesterday we waited anxiously through the whole thing until the very end when they were ready to tell us if we would have a daughter or a son.  From the very beginning of this pregnancy my husband and I have had such a strong feeling that we would be having a girl. 

I'm starting to really believe in the power of a simple dream.  I dreamt about her early on and ever since then have known deep down that that's who was inside of me. And it was just five months ago that I woke up from a very vivid dream and knew that I needed to take a pregnancy test...completely out of the blue.  I'm glad though that not all of my crazy and stressful pregnancy dreams have come true...especially the one where I took the entire Kindergarten, all 100 of them, on a field trip by myself to a parking garage...

These past few months have been such a roller coaster of emotions for my husband and I.  We are coming to the realization that come summer, our lives will be different forever. That it won't be about us anymore...staying up late, sleeping in until lunch, seeing how long we can go without grocery shopping. 

But then we realized that we want our child to be a part of the life that we already have...the great parts.  We want them to enjoy our lazy Sunday mornings and late afternoon picnics at the park.  We want them to enjoy riding in the car listening to their dad's favorite Bob Dylan songs. We want them to watch funny movies in bed with us.  It will become our new life together, the three of us. Some of it we will carry with us from the past and some of it will be created new as we grow as a family. 

{Thank you all for your sweet sweet comments! We are so excited!}

It's a...

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We are so excited to meet our little girl! 

I Love You To The Moon and Back

times infinity...

To My One and Only,

Thank you for trying to recreate our traditional Valentine's dinner the gluten free way...even if I cried. You are the most patient man I have ever met and my pregnant overly emotional self thanks you endlessly for your constant support, laughter, and back rubs. You are going to make the world's best dad. I can't wait to see you hold our little baby in your arms and know that it has some of you and some of me mixed together (hopefully a little more of you than me...)  I love you more than anything and want you to know that I truly am the luckiest girl in the world. 

Love,

me

Music Gives Wings to the Mind

The little one and I spent a quiet Sunday afternoon listening to music and I got caught up on some much wanted reading of the Hunger Games.  I used to think being alone all weekend while Martin worked was boring, but now I love that I get to share new things with our baby, even if it is still growing inside of me.   

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

A Polka Dotty Week

There's just something about polka dots...don't you think?

Dressing has become a little easier now that I've accepted the fact that I've gained the weight of a small dog. My mom and I scoured a baby and maternity consignment store and found some really great pieces that will last me through my pregnancy...all 50% off, which makes them that much more wonderful.  And seeing my older sister just went through her pregnancy, I got to go through her selection of maternity clothes as well. 

It's nice to share.

Dressing for my new belly sure gets the creative juices flowing in the wee morning hours.  I'm still enjoying wearing most of my pre pregnancy tops and pants thanks to my Bellaband and the fact that apparently I used to buy clothes that eerily resembled maternity fashion. 

I held up some of my new wardrobe for my husband to admire and said, "Hey, some of these things I could definitely keep wearing after the baby comes!"  Martin looked instantly alarmed.

"Well, maybe not the elastic waisted pants..." I added quickly.

Today was a good day and I was smiling all afternoon. I got to hear our little one's heartbeat and experienced what it was like to have a stranger, in the middle of a store, get excited about your pregnancy. I'm beginning to really love my new belly, especially in polka dots.

Forever My Babies You'll Be

Martin and I keep explaining to Wilson and Margot that pretty soon there will be a new baby in the house. Martin tells them that it will be loud and smelly, which leaves both the cats with a sense of fear in their eyes. I reassure them that the baby will only be loud and smelly sometimes. 

But most importantly, as silly as it sounds, we reassure the cats that we have enough love for everyone, and they will secretly always be our babies. 

Snowed In

Yesterday, we watched as seventeen inches of sparkly snow fell to the ground.  Although pretty, I wasn't able to go to my four month baby check up and for that I'm extremely mad at this mini blizzard that decided to grace Colorado with its presence.  But, I can't stay mad too long because the sun is already shining again and I'm pretty sure I've been feeling our little baby move inside of me.  

The little butterfly movements are truly an amazing feeling. And until my husband will be able to feel our baby move from the outside, it's just me and the little one for now...connecting and bonding over such a small thing as a tiny kick. In a few weeks we'll get to find out if we're having a little girl or boy. I love sitting with my eyes closed and day dreaming about what it will be like to have a little Martin or a little Jessica running around. Either way we'll be happy. I just focus on those small movements that remind me that there is a tiny being inside of me, a tiny being that is ours, that we are responsible for growing and teaching and loving.

Since we weren't going anywhere yesterday, I begged Martin to help me rearrange the bedroom furniture. I feel like I've been nesting like crazy and need EVERY space in this little apartment to be clean and organized.  Our 13 foot by 13 foot bedroom is going to serve as our bedroom, office, and soon to be nursery.  Yikes. 

We'll make it work. We decided to stay in our one bedroom apartment for another year...besides, babies are small, right? :) We knew that now wasn't the time to move to the place we eventually want to call home. So now, we wait for the right time and make the home we have a home for three instead of two. 

To be honest though, sometimes I feel sad that I can't decorate a nursery for my baby. The necessities are all we have room for and I guess that's probably a good thing. Martin keeps reminding me that people thousands of years ago didn't have fancy nurseries for their babies and everyone turned out just fine.  "What would they have done in a teepee Jessica? Everyone lived in the same room." He has a valid point, but still...

Our room is a work in progress for now, but I can see the potential.