Saturday, December 10, 2011

Love Story {Part III} Fate is in Charge

Do you believe in fate?
I do. I absolutely do...looking back at all the events in my life that have brought me to where I am today, there's not even a question about it. 

When I started my freshman year at the University of Northern Colorado I was ready to be bold, brave, and meet new friends. But before I did any of that I went and found my best friend in the dorm next door. 
I walked up the creaky wooden staircase and down the narrow hallway and knocked softly on the door that had "Wolfe" written on it in R.A. handwriting.  Martin opened the door and his face lit up. My face lit up. I was so happy to see him.

We were inseparable.  It was like nothing had come between us. He didn't act like I had broken his heart a few months earlier, and for that I was so thankful. 

Our freshman year we did everything together. We ate every dinner together at 4:30 sharp.  Martin knew that being in a crowded dining hall made me anxious, so he made sure to meet me for dinner right when the doors opened...e v e r y day. We walked across campus and found quiet study corners in the library. We went for late night runs. We spent hours in the practice rooms.  I listened to him practice the violin, he listened to me play the piano.  On warm days we found trees with lots of shade and laid out our textbooks underneath. We talked instead of studied. We laughed until we couldn't breathe. We had connected again. We were falling in love again, but for some reason I couldn't recognize that.
I remember talking with my roommate during a late night get to know you session. We sat across from each other on our tiny beds. She asked me if Martin was my boyfriend. I immediately said, "No! We're just friends." She smiled at me and said, "Well you never know. Sometimes those are the ones we end up with." 
"Uh, huh, yeah..." I said. She wasn't the first to ask me the status of Martin and my relationship. Couldn't people tell we were just friends? "Just because you spend every moment with someone doesn't make them your boyfriend!" I thought defensively to myself.

Everybody could see it but me. It was so clear to those around us. My family and friends. Even to Martin. 
.  .  .  .  .

It was spring and we had been at school for almost a year. 
We were hanging out in Martin's dorm room listening to Van Morrison when he looked at me and told me he loved me. I remember exactly where we were sitting, the way his voice sounded. I remember looking at him for a long time, then I put my head down and quietly said with a smile, "I love you too."  He wrapped his arms around me and I sunk into his hug. It felt felt perfect.  This was who I was supposed to be with. I didn't know why I hadn't admitted it earlier.
We spent the next three years growing in our relationship...surviving the stresses of college, surviving life altering moments, growing more and more in love each day.  I never wanted to leave his side.  But I knew that in a few short months I would have no choice but to leave as I finished my student teaching. I was positive I would be placed with my first choice.  That I would get to move home to Fort Collins...a short 30 minute drive from Martin. 

As I opened my placement envelope the words Aurora, CO seemed to jump from the page. I was in utter shock.  I hadn't even chosen this city as an option. Didn't the placement committee know I had a serious boyfriend!? Didn't they care that they were separating to people destined to be together?

They didn't. 

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