Life has been so incredibly busy these last few weeks. Whenever that happens I feel like I hold my breath waiting for it to pass by...so I can feel normal again. That if I write down what's happening it will seem real and sometimes I'm just not ready to embrace the reality.
I keep thinking about this time last year. I was holding my breath for months, waiting to see what the future was going to bring. I made a huge leap of faith and began interviewing for teaching positions back home. With that decision of course brought days of anxiety, stress, and nerves...but it was all worth it in the end when I accepted a first grade job just down the street from our brand new home. Life has been incredibly good to us this year.
But I knew that my position was a one year only contract. I've tried not to think about it all year long, although secretly I knew this position would just be one year. I remember setting up my classroom and telling my twin sister how I didn't want to go too overboard...especially if I wasn't there next year (yes, that's me the pessimist). But I was so glad just to have my foot in the door with the district which could make finding another job easier.
My principal sat down with me a month ago updating me on the situation...the district was predicting low numbers in first grade...they really wanted me to stay at my school...would I maybe be interested in teaching another grade level?....we'll let you know in April after the budget meetings.
I left the meeting feeling nervous and worried. I immediately went home and started looking for jobs again wondering if I had made the wrong decision last spring. I didn't want to do this all over again. It had taken everything out of me last year to make this move, every ounce of bravery. Putting yourself in a vulnerable position is hard, especially with the possibility of rejection.
So I've been praying and trusting that everything will work out. And it has. I was offered a fourth grade position at my school last week and I gladly accepted. I began teaching in fourth grade seven years ago. It sort of feels like going home. I'm excited, nervous, and ready. But it also means another year of change ahead. This year has been hard. Learning a new school, district, grade. Learning a new culture of families...somedays the only thing I've been able to do is keep my head above water.
I know I have to work hard to be where I want to be. I've been told time after time how fortunate I am to have landed a job in my district. I have been truly thankful everyday and I'm ready to prove myself once again.