Our One and Only Everdeen You

Yesterday was liberating. 

You see, we were at a party and as Everdeen rambunctiously toddled around me someone happily asked when I would be having my next baby. This question comes a lot after you've had your first baby...heck even when I was pregnant with my first baby people wanted to know when her siblings would be joining her. I smiled and said bravely, "We're just having one."  I braced myself for the backlash. But it didn't come.  They were understanding and didn't poke and prod any further.  

I can't tell you how good it felt to be honest. Because for the past two years I have almost always told people what they wanted to hear, afraid of the pressures from society and the expectations from those around me.  Everyone assumes you'll have more children and no one assumes you're more than happy with just one. It sounds so silly when I write it out...this is my life and I'm living it the way I want to live it, not the way others want me to live it.  But the lines get blurred sometimes, don't they?

When Martin and I talked about having a family we always knew we wanted one child.  We've spent hours and hours talking about the pros and cons to both...we still do because believe me our decision wasn't made lightly.  We don't have religious or political views about the number of children to have and we love love love when our family and friends tell us they're having more children! But this idea of three made sense to us and after we had Everdeen life felt so complete. 

I remember when I was eight months pregnant and Martin and I were asked by an older gentleman how many children we were going to have.  Martin told him that we were just having one.  He replied with, "How can you do that to your child?!"  So you can see why I've been hesitant to tell people since then.  It's strange the responses you'll get.  Often times I think people see it as a selfish move...we must want more time for ourselves or our careers (which couldn't be more far from the truth).  And I know some people will begin to think that maybe we're not able to have more children and it will become a hush hush topic around us. But I guess that's not for me to worry about. 

What I will think about everyday though, is how I can give my only daughter a beautiful life full of rich experiences that will teach her to be the best version of herself. Because when it comes down to it, whether you have 1 or 20 children, our job as mothers is the same...to love those children until your heart literally explodes with happiness :)