My Exercise Routine Consists of Doing Diddly Squats

A post about exercise...say whhhaat??

The last time I did any sort of exercise was in October when I was 'encouraged' to run a mile with my first grade students.  I was completely embarrassed as I crossed the finish line with all the moms and dads cheering and wanting to give me a giant high five.  My family will tell you that I am not a high fiving-throw your arms up into the air kind of girl...go team go! moments embarrass the heck out of me.  My husband tries to give me a high five at least once a day...:)

 I'm pretty sure the last time I had run a mile before that was in junior high when we would sneakily cut corners just so the torture would be over faster. I was never very athletic, despite my dad's enthusiasm and effort to get one of his daughter's to stick with some sort of sport.  Now that I think of it though, I dominated four square and kick ball in elementary school so maybe I do have some athletic talent after all...

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Rewind 18 months ago and I was 100 months pregnant and weighed 55 pounds more than I do now.  I had gone from eating pretty strict Paleo to whatever my pregnant self wanted to eat. My 5'3 frame did not hide the weight well and it's been a slow process for the weight to come off. None the less, I'm proud of myself for losing over 50 lbs with just changing my diet. 

So the weight is off, but things do not look the same a t  a l l.  I truly don't mind the stretch marks here and there because they are my mark of motherhood.  I grew a child inside of me and there is nothing more important or sacred to me. 

When Everdeen was just a teeny tiny being inside of me I worried about my self esteem and how I would teach my own daughter to love herself, to stand proud, and to be confident when I rarely felt those things.  18 months have passed and my sweet girl is watching, listening, and learning from everything I do.  I want her to see that her mama can be strong and confident. It's not about a number on the scale or the size of pants I can wear...I want to feel proud of myself, maybe even enough to give someone a high five..but don't push your luck ;). And so my journey to self love (and to be honest, looking decent in a swimming suit wouldn't hurt) is just beginning. 

My husband is a great CrossFitter and has built his own home gym in our garage.  It's only been a week and I am just as sore as when I gave birth, but I haven't quit and to me that is a huge accomplishment.  

{4/52}

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Everdeen Kate: Watching the birds fly by :)  

 Linking up with Jodi :)

Lately

We are here and alive! (Incase you were worried :) I feel like I've been so absent from my blog and these past few weeks have been filled with moments...both up and down that I want and need to write about. I always feel better when I can be honest and document the here and now.  We've been hanging in there since the unfortunate news of my husband's job loss and it truly is amazing how fast you adapt to life's changes.  

Somedays I feel okay...and somedays I'm up till who knows when worrying about this or that and trying to brainstorm how to be even more economical. I am of course so thankful I have my job, but seriously I think my students earn more in allowance. We've always been frugal people and for that I'm thankful.  It would be worse if we had lived beyond our means or always felt the need to buy buy buy.  But we really have always stuck to just the necessities and become frequent visitors to the consignment stores.  I remember when I first started teaching seven years ago.  I was living in Denver with my older sister and telling her how I didn't think I should buy new black socks for work.  I literally felt guilty for spending the money.  We were raised to be careful with our money.  My dad never turned the heat up passed 65 degrees...and trust me we begged.  Not because he couldn't afford to keep the house at the requested temperature of 90, but because he was being economically smart.  In response we were always told to go put on a sweater.  Now here I am twenty some years later and I am making sure that my thermostat doesn't go past 65 :)   

  Martin has been incredible.  But that's just Martin...the most positive person you'll ever meet.   He's been super dad and super husband these last few weeks.  Cooking, cleaning, laundry, baths.  It's all done before I get home from school.  We've made the decision that if he doesn't find something by the end of the month then he will be a stay at home daddy- at least until this summer.  He's happy to do the most important job in the world for a few months and he simply is head over heals in love with our little girl.  You should see some of the cute outfits he has pulled together for Everdeen :)

(who doesn't love to be serenaded at breakfast?)

So we are chugging along.  The last of the snow is melting and today was even in the mid 50's.  Sometimes you can start to imagine warm spring days ahead. I have a sneaky feeling that everything is going to be okay because it always is.  I have a beautiful family, a beautiful home, a wonderful job.  Yes. This must be how it's supposed to be for now.

{3/52}

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Everdeen Kate: Playing hide-and-seek amongst the curtains is one of your favorite games. I wonder if when you're all grown up you'll be reminded of days when you were small and how those curtains created a whole new world of imagination for you...  

 Linking up with Jodi :)

{2/52}

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Everdeen Kate: Your first ponytail. It is literally the cutest thing I have ever seen :)

 Linking up with Jodi :)

{1/52}

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Everdeen Kate: We took you out into the snow to play for the first time.  The need to eat snow must be in our genes because you immediately bent down and put a huge mitten full into your mouth! 

 Linking up with Jodi :)

A Wintery Day

Sigh...

Today felt like an empty Saturday afternoon in April...I'm pretty sure my twin sister is the only one who knows what I mean by that, but if you are weird like us and understand, then you are our kindred spirit :)

This week has been hard.   After we put Everdeen to bed Monday night my husband rolled over and quietly whispered that he had lost his job.  I took a deep breath so I wouldn't break out the hysterics.  He looked sad, confused...upset.   The restaurant he's been working at since this summer is new and with that has come making some major cut backs...including my husband's position. It just seems so unfair.

My stomach was turning with nervous butterflies...we just bought a house...how will we pay for daycare...of course both of our car insurances are due this month...what else can we possibly cut out of our spending?

By morning my stomach was still turning, but not with nerves.   One bad case of the stomach flu can really put you on track for your News Year's weight loss goals :) 

These past few days have just been thinking and recovering from what felt like almost death.  Dinners have been a little quieter...well as quiet as they can be with a toddler.  I know we're both thinking and thinking about every possibility right now.   

It's funny, if the roles were switched it would be so obvious what to do...at least in my eyes.  What a perfect time to stay home and watch our sweet girl.  I sort of feel like maybe this is what my husband should do...what's the point of working anyways when you forfeit your entire paycheck over to the daycare?  What a waste.  There seems to be such a stigma to husbands who are stay-at-home dads, but what's the difference between them staying home and us? As long as one of us can be the main bread winner does it really matter? 

I'm rambling...but it feels good to get my jumbled thoughts out into cyberspace. I know things will work out, they always do.  I know there is a greater plan for our lives that we don't know about and every step, every hiccup, every success is a part of that. I was talking to my big sister the other day. She made such an important point. All the struggles we go through now is for our children and the good news is that they'll never know the struggles we faced.  What they will remember though is that they were safe, happy and loved and they were provided with everything we could give them at that time.  It's true.  All you need is love right? And extra blankets because we turned the thermostat down to save money :)

For now though, we are enjoying our time together with our spirited little one before I go back to work on Monday.  I think all we have on our agenda for tomorrow is to watch it snow...and to keep thinking.  

{52/52}

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Everdeen Kate: Merry Christmas! I can't believe a year has already passed since we started the 52 Week Project!  I keep looking back at all the pictures we took this year and you have grown into such a beautiful, happy, spirited little tot! 

Look back at all 52 pictures here :)

 Linking up with Jodi :)