Bye Bye Bapi Power

When somebody loved me everything was beautiful

Every hour spent together lives within my heart

When she loved me...

I feel like maybe Everdeen's paci is thinking these words this week...and I know that makes me a big weirdo.  But sometimes I feel like inanimate objects have feelings too.  Like I never like to leave one last chip or cracker in the bag, it should always have a friend to go to the dump with incase it gets scared or lonely... 

We've been talking to Everdeen for a few weeks now about how she's a big girl and doesn't need her pacifier anymore.  Everdeen has only used it when she was sleeping, but this past month was really hard and full of tantrums.  The moment she would get home from school she headed upstairs searching for the thing she knew she couldn't have. And I mean big crocodile tears, arms hanging from the rails of her crib.  Mama please! Help me! I NEED MY BAPI POWER! Such heartbreak over a tiny piece of plastic. 

Martin and I decided it was probably time to seriously get rid of the paci...although I'm pretty sure we've been saying that since she was 6 months old ;) 

But then suddenly on Monday night as we were going through our nighttime ritual she said, "Mama I'm a big girl! Bye bye bapi power!"

And that was that.  

It's funny that I feel more sad than Everdeen does. I think whenever we reach a milestone that loudly shouts in my face that I no longer have a baby it really becomes hard for me to move on. Where is my teeny tiny baby? I remember when her paci was almost as big as her face :)

Sigh...it's official.  I am the mother of a big girl.