I have officially survived my first two weeks back to work and though I feel completely and totally overwhelmed by it all, the days tick away fast and soon it is 4:15 and I literally pep step out of those school doors. It's so different from the past five years where I would be one of the first ones to arrive at school and stay until I was one of the last to leave. I have never been so productive during my eight hours at school...my mom would be so proud of me for using my time wisely :)
This is how it will be from now on and I'm okay with that. I'll give everything I have to teach my little kindergarteners during the school day, but the moment I'm home it's my time with my family and nothing else matters.
The Saturday before I returned to work was emotionally draining. I was bursting into tears over and over again...uncontrollably crying. I took a long hot shower and cried and cried, letting out everything I was feeling, crying until I had no tears left. I let the hot water run out, climbed into bed, and fell asleep instantly. I truly don't think I have ever felt so sad in my life. I thought Sunday would be more of the same, but I felt a sort of calm wash over me and I was able to enjoy my last day with Everdeen before heading off to work in the early morning.
{first day back to work}
My school days are filled to the brim with things to do and things to catch up on. I'm learning all about who my students are...it's like the first week of Kindergarten all over again. I think about Everdeen during the quiet and calm moments when the kids are at lunch. I scroll through my e-mail and open the messages from my mom that are filled with pictures of what Everdeen is up to that day with her cousin and I smile. I know she is safe and sound during the week...and although I feel a little twinge of jealousy that it's not me getting to spend the day with her, I'm glad she's in such good hands.
{On our way to Nana's in the snow storm}
These past two weeks have been such a growing experience for me. I really thought I wouldn't be able to make it through, but I have. I've survived. I don't know if it will ever get easier, but I do know we will settle into a new routine and I will live for those moments when we snuggle on the couch until dinner time, breathing in sync again, being right where we are supposed to be...together.
Awww going back to work is hard...I don't know how I am going to be able to do it. I am due in May so I will have all summer with baby but I have no idea who is actually going to watch baby afterwards! She is such an angel!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!! That will be so nice to have the summer with your little one! It is probably the hardest thing I have ever done, but I think every day that I'm doing this all for her :)
DeleteThank you for sharing Everdeen with me!
ReplyDeleteOh Jess! You made me tear up. I pretty much feel that way each and every Monday morning. Being a full time teacher and wife and mommy is my constant struggle. I love my job and I am so grateful for it... But it still doesn't make it any easier to leave Donovan each day. Know you're in good company. Proud of you Momma. Your kinders are lucky to have you back!
ReplyDeleteI too remember this day like it was yesterday. Megs is right. It DOES get easier, but Mondays will always be a hard day. I laughed when I read how you were always the first to arrive and last to leave. I WAS the same way for 9 years! Now I'm in by 7:30, out by 4:30 to get my sweet girl. Thinking about all of our breaks is what keeps me going. I'll be thinking of you. Enjoy your time with your sweet family. It's all that matters!!
ReplyDeleteI can't even think about what it's like going back to work. I'm already dreading it myself. I think as teachers we are so used to giving those kids all of us each and every day. I can't even imagine what it's like to be a mom AND a teacher because you have your own child to think about now. I think that's a good piece of advice...giving your all at work and then giving your all to your family at home. I think learning to draw the line will be our greatest challenge. Good luck and keep us posted on how you're coping as a working mom. I definitely need that advice!
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