Monday, July 24, 2017

weston's birth story | part two

It was about 7:30pm had only been about 30 minutes since my water had broken and my contractions were intensifying quickly. I thought maybe this labor would be fast and I told Martin we needed to head back inside from our walk. 

I threw the pile of laundry I'd been folding into the closet...out of sight out of mind ;) and we prepared our room for labor. Martin filled up the diffusers with my favorite essential oils, lit some candles, and helped make up the bed. I texted my midwife again to let her know how I was feeling and I remember her texting back that I must be in early labor if I can still text her :) That changed really fast! 

My older sister, Elizabeth, arrived by about 8:30pm and by then I was telling Martin he needed to call the midwife back. My contractions were still about 4 minutes apart, but wow were they powerful and I definitely could not talk through them anymore. I will probably say it a thousand times throughout this story, but my sister was incredible during my labor. She held my hand the entire time (even when I was squeezing it so hard she probably thought I was going to break it :)and talked me through each contraction. She stayed up with me the whole night, encouraging me, and guiding me all the while being five months pregnant herself! She slept between my contractions on the bed with me and I truly wouldn't have made it as far as I did without her. 

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I didn't hear my midwives arrive until I felt a soft hand stroking my hair back. They quickly checked the baby and myself and then headed downstairs to let me keep laboring. I loved how my midwife let me work through my labor, never interfering until she needed to check the baby's heart rate or my blood pressure. It felt safe and calm in our home and she knew I would instinctually do what I needed to do.

Not long after the midwives arrived my contractions started taking over my whole body. There's something about being in labor that makes you sort of let go of all insecurities and being self conscious. I definitely started vocalizing through each contraction at this point. Suddenly I felt the urge to push! Could this be it?! Part of me was so hopeful that it was and part of me thought back to Everdeen's labor when I had the same sensation and was told I was only 3 cm dilated. My sister got my midwife and she decided she would check me to see if it was time to meet our baby. The news of only being 4cm hit me like a wall. Not again! Why were my contractions so incredibly painful if I wasn't as far along as I thought? I began to feel so discouraged, but I also knew that my body could also make progress quickly. My midwife asked if I wanted her to apply some Clary Sage essential oil and I happily obliged. I knew that Clary Sage could really get things moving and wow did it. The intensity of my contractions doubled!

Soon after I was checked, I really don't remember much. I know at some point I got in the bath and had the shower run over my back until we ran out of hot water. I labored for hours on my knees at the edge of the bed, working through each wave that hit my body. Holding onto my sister or to Martin until the contraction peaked, trying to sleep in the 3-4 minutes before the next one started.  

I had no sense of time and I tried to not think of the next contraction coming, but instead be present with either my rest or the contraction I was having. But I was really struggling. I remember calling out multiple times that I could not do this anymore! My midwife and sister gently reminded me that I was doing it! About this time I started to hear the birds chirping outside my bedroom window. I had grown accustomed to hearing the chorus of birdsong every morning around 4am due to my pregnancy insomnia. I remember asking why the birds were chirping at this hour...thinking it was maybe midnight. But it was already nearing 4am. 

It had been 9 hours since my water had broken and about 14 hours since my contractions had really started that afternoon. I was tired. Emotionally, physically, and mentally. Around 5am My midwife decided to check me again (usually she doesn't check after your water has broken, but I think she knew I needed to hear some good news about my progress.) I reluctantly got onto the bed. Laying down through contractions felt terrible and I just wanted to stay where I was. She checked me and gently said, "You're about 5cm." I had only progressed 1 cm in about 6 hours. I began to cry as my midwife helped me sit up. I told her I couldn't do this anymore and that I thought I needed to go to the hospital for pain relief. She rubbed my back as I cried and I remember telling her through my tears that I felt like I had failed. Everyone in the room told me over and over that the most important thing was to have this baby...however it happened. I then made the very very difficult decision that we would head to the hospital. 

Part one here
Part three here

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