sending love

One of my most favorite things is opening my mailbox and seeing a sealed envelope, beautifully addressed, and mailed with care and thought. Everdeen has been one little lucky lady and receives cards from her auntie and a very special friend of my mom's for almost every occasion. It is the sweetest thing to see her face light up as she carefully opens the envelope, curious to see what it holds inside.  But I think what makes it even more special is that someone took the time to choose a beautiful card, handwrite a sweet note, and send it off.  You know that person was thinking of just you and that can make anyones heart swell with joy. 

The art of handwriting a letter seems to be slowly dying and I think in this day and age where technology is our way of life, sometimes the idea of sitting down and writing out our correspondences seems daunting or time consuming. There's just something about reading a note on a bright computer screen that feels impersonal. It just doesn't have the same effect as a handwritten note...I think there's something nostalgic, even romantic about holding a card or letter in your hand and knowing that there was time, thought, and care put into writing it. I always picture the stacks of yellowed letters tied with string written between two people in love or two kindred spirits separated by distance. Their thoughts so eloquently put down onto paper. I think there needs to be more of that. 

My sisters and I were raised to write thank you notes...even for the smallest of gestures. When I taught in the suburbs of Denver, my students would bring me some very unique gifts...mostly from the dollar store. My all time favorite was a candle of the Virgin Mary, because who doesn't need at least one of those in their home :) I remember my assistant principal sitting with me as he helped me translate my thank you notes into Spanish. A few days later, one of my parents came up to me and gave me the biggest hug after she had received my note. Something as simple as a thank you note had broken the language barrier between us and it made us both feel good! 

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I'm so excited because my twin sister has been in the process of creating her own sweet little greeting card shop to encourage people to send some love just because. And one of my favorite on-line photo shops has a new site for personalized greeting cards called Treat that has a lot of fun options too! There are always a million reasons to send a thoughtful handwritten note to someone you care about and trust me, it will completely make their day.

Thanksgiving 2014

With all the glittering festivities of Christmas swirling around in my mind I had forgotten to give Thanksgiving a proper post :) 

We had a wonderful celebration with my family (just missing my twin sister and brother-in-law...although they will be here in 1 week!) We enjoyed my dad's homemade raviolis and loved watching the little ones chase each other in circles until they were zonked out.  We have so much to be thankful for.  Everdeen at this age has been reminding me so much of myself when I was little.  We have one home video...it was 1988 and my sister and I were turning four. My mom had rented a video camera from the local video store and she recorded our birthday and Thanksgiving. It's funny how I hear my voice in Everdeen and see myself sitting at the dining room table 27 years ago eating my ravioli...making the same inquisitive looks. Although, she's a much more adventurous eater than her mama was :)

I love that our children get to experience some of the same special moments that we did as kids...there's just something so amazing about family traditions that become ingrained in our souls and become part of our culture as a family.  We long for these moments all year long...the familiar smells, the familiar sounds, and stories told year after year. It's such a reassuring feeling that next year we can look forward to it all again.

Life Lately

My Christmas tree is sparkling and the candles in the windows are glowing.  Last night, Everdeen asked if we could keep her little tree lit as she fell asleep.  I remembered falling asleep when I was little with the Christmas candles in my window casting a warm glow across my room.  I would sneak into my twin sister's bed and we would stare at the lights on the houses across the street. I always felt so safe and cozy and it felt exactly the same in her room last night. I had to sneak in after she had fallen asleep to unplug her tree, but before I did, I re-tucked her in under her new quilt from Nana and kissed her goodnight. We took down her crib a couple of weeks ago (which was a bit of a heart wrenching moment for my mama heart...because of course she would have slept in her crib until college if I'd had my say) But she is much warmer snuggled under her flannel sheets and favorite blankets.

These past few weeks have stretched us with our little tots tantrums(I'm so sorry you can't play with the needle nosed pliers...) yet at the same time she has overwhelmingly filled our hearts with joy. Today, as I carried Everdeen down the stairs she stroked my hair, gave it a kiss, and told me, "Mama, I want you forever." It's amazing to watch this little person with independent thoughts and wants...sometimes very independent thoughts and wants. It still amazes me daily that I am the mother of a two year old. A two year old who is sweet, loving, and fills our home with joyful giggles. 

I am so excited to create a magical Christmas season for Everdeen this year. She's been asking "What you doing Mama?" as I prepare our home for the holiday. I love telling her about our traditions and watching her eyes sparkle as she's now old enough to understand. I still vividly remember rocking her to sleep when she was about five months old. The Christmas tree filled our tiny one bedroom apartment with its soft and familiar glow and I sang Silent Night over and over until her breathing was steady. I knew she couldn't comprehend what Christmas was all about, but I knew she could feel the magic.  

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"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Everdeen Kate: Your first taste of pumpkin pie :)    

 Linking up with Jodi :)

Happy Birthday...to Us!!

My twin sister wrote a beautiful post about what it means to share a birthday with your twin and soul mate :)  I couldn't have written it better myself.  Happiest of Birthdays to my other half! 

My twin sister Jessica is my soul mate.  I mean, we were split in two so I'm pretty sure we each have part of the same soul.

The day we headed off to college was one of the saddest days of my life.  I remember laying awake in my tiny bed, in my new dorm room, on my first night and not knowing how to feel or how to be.  How would I make friends without my best friend by my side?  How would I survive class?  How would I go to the grocery store by myself?  Who was going to tell me that my outfit should never see the light of day?

The next years were hard, but we both grew.  We became braver and more independent.  We experienced things the other did not.  We took trips, met friends, got our hearts broken, fell in love and graduated.  The next years were even harder.  I headed off to Texas for graduate school and took a blind leap into the unknown, alone.  I was so used to everyone knowing I was a twin back home that it was a strange feeling for new people in my life to not automatically know this about me.  Our whole life we had been known as "The Twins" which always annoyed me. But here, hundreds of miles away from home, I wished and hoped that just once someone would refer to me as one of "The Twins".  

Life has taken us both down different paths and we are happy in our careers and little families.  And even though its been years since we lived in the same state and we've grown accustomed to these separate lives, we miss each other with all of our hearts.  I guess we've become grownups during this time because lets face it, it would have been crazy for us to not have learned how to function in the real world without the other nearby.   

But you see, the truth is, even though we are grownups and we live wonderful, independent lives, I just don't function my best without her.  

On the rarest of rare days that we can't talk I feel like there is a hole in my day.  Who can I tell that for a brief second after lunch it smelled exactly like the skating rink we used to go to when we were little?  And there's no doubt that she will understand completely---my co-workers at lunch would just look at me weird!  Or what if I have to describe a color and the only description I can come up with is that it is that shimmery color from that one ride in Disney World?  And of course my sister would say, "Oh right! The one with the dragon.  I know that color."  

I usually talk to Jessica on my way home from work each evening which can last from 5 minutes to an hour :) .  The minute we say, "hi" a feeling of complete contentment washes over me. 

Even living 2000 miles away, our lives are interwoven.  They are forever connected.  You always hear of twin struggles--of those twins who yearn to be their own self and independent of each other.  At least for us, this is impossible.  While we have our own distinct personalties and preferred nail polish color, we are our most true selves when we are together.  We are soul mates.

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Happy Birthday to my sister.  I'm glad I get to share this special day with you always!