six months {happy half birthday little one}

I can not believe it has been half a year since I held this little girl in my arms for the first time.  Time didn't go by this fast before we had Everdeen.  I wish it would slow down just a little bit so I could hold onto my baby just a little longer. 

 Someone wasn't really interested in sitting still for this months pictures...my how things can change so much in just a month! 

A few things Everdeen Kate has been up to this month:

Sleeping through the night unswaddled
Eating all of her vegetables
Screeching with delight at the top of her lungs
Experiencing some separation anxiety 
Rolling around the floor like it's her job
Almost crawling...just a little more practice!

Happy half birthday sweet Everdeen! We love you more than words can say! 

five month update

four month update

three month update

two month update

one month update

feel the wind in your hair

or if you still don't have any, it's nice to feel it against your skin anyways :) 

We welcomed the warm weather and breeze today with open arms and spent some time at a nearby park. It felt so much like Spring today...these little windows of warmth give us a small peek into the next season, the next chapter of life and I am already anxiously awaiting it.   

I was so happy to have a day with Martin. Some days I feel like we live separate lives only seeing each other for an hour or two in the evenings after he gets home from work.  At that time we're both exhausted and we both just snuggle Everdeen until it's time for her to go to bed...which is usually my bed time too. I feel like a single mom a lot and Martin feels like a single dad. We each get two days alone with Everdeen, but not with each other. Unless I have a Monday or Tuesday off from school I don't get to spend much quality time with him.  I don't think we've ever had weekends off together and I silently and longingly look at my friends who get two glorious days off with their spouse.  We could do so many things as a family if we just had that time.

I keep looking to the months ahead, very ready for a change. We both are. When we do have time together we spend it excitedly talking about our next step as a family and where it might take us next.   I always ask Martin, "Where do you think we'll be this time next year?"  We love to wonder and imagine our little family of three finally in the place we want to call home. We don't know what the coming months will bring or even if our schedules will be any better, but we do know that we never take for granted the time we have with the three of us.

I'm already looking forward to the next family day we can have and maybe even a date night with my husband...even if it does start at my bed time :) 

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow...

 

 Today has been one of those days where I look around our cramped apartment at the piles growing higher and higher.  I can't ever seem to catch up on the laundry, let alone put it away.  I don't think the cats have been brushed in months and I just noticed a lone Christmas decoration still hanging up.  

But I don't care. Instead I played with my baby girl all day long.  I watched as her little feet danced in the jumper.  I watched as she rolled from one side of the carpet and ended up under the chair...when did she become so mobile?   The constant nagging in my brain telling me to go clean the bathroom and to make the bed became quieter.  I'll never have these moments with Everdeen again.  Each day she changes and grows and if I don't stop and take it in I'll miss it.  

I can see the light layer of dust on the TV stand and the carpet desperately needs to be vacuumed, but it can wait.  It will all get done eventually ...probably during the next round of naps or after Everdeen has been tucked in for the night.  But for now I just want to be the two of us...while her little hand still fits in mine.

{3/52}

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Everdeen: You have loved the bath since the first time we put you in there. Maybe that's why you were two weeks late...maybe you loved the feeling of floating in water with only the sound of a beating heart. I don't blame you, that sounds perfectly peaceful. There's something about the water that brightens your eyes and makes you screech with delight...and afterwards, when you are all squeaky clean, we snuggle into each other and we breathe in your warm skin that smells just like lavender and honey.

we're having a heat wave

Not really...although I think today got into the 30s which in comparison is a nice and balmy mild day :)

We've been suffering through single digits here in Colorado and it has been a little miserable. Especially if you're a teacher and you've had three inside recess days in a row. Every teacher knows that inside days create the perfect alignment of wiggly bodies and loud voices that will pierce your ear drums instantly and make you so tired you could literally take a nap amongst the grimy pillows in the classroom library. 

I hurried to pick up Everdeen after school today and when we got home we snuggled under blankets and I turned up the heat, not caring that it would be reflected on our heating bill next month. These moments we have together after school are everything to me.  

It's been hard. It's been so hard to be back at work.

Especially after coming back from winter vacation.  Everyone tells me that it will get easier...but it hasn't.  I have a hard time justifying to myself that I spend eight hours a day with other people's children when I have my own baby to take care of. During the day I know she is having the most wonderful time with her Nana and cousin, or with her Grandma, or with her daddy on his days off.  I just wish it was with me too...

Only 17 more weeks left until beautiful summer vacation. I can feel the warm sun on my face now.  It will probably be too hot and I'll be wishing for those short winter days when we snuggled in bed together...under the covers with our hats on, in our pajamas, watching the snow fall out the window.