Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow...

 

 Today has been one of those days where I look around our cramped apartment at the piles growing higher and higher.  I can't ever seem to catch up on the laundry, let alone put it away.  I don't think the cats have been brushed in months and I just noticed a lone Christmas decoration still hanging up.  

But I don't care. Instead I played with my baby girl all day long.  I watched as her little feet danced in the jumper.  I watched as she rolled from one side of the carpet and ended up under the chair...when did she become so mobile?   The constant nagging in my brain telling me to go clean the bathroom and to make the bed became quieter.  I'll never have these moments with Everdeen again.  Each day she changes and grows and if I don't stop and take it in I'll miss it.  

I can see the light layer of dust on the TV stand and the carpet desperately needs to be vacuumed, but it can wait.  It will all get done eventually ...probably during the next round of naps or after Everdeen has been tucked in for the night.  But for now I just want to be the two of us...while her little hand still fits in mine.

{3/52}

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Everdeen: You have loved the bath since the first time we put you in there. Maybe that's why you were two weeks late...maybe you loved the feeling of floating in water with only the sound of a beating heart. I don't blame you, that sounds perfectly peaceful. There's something about the water that brightens your eyes and makes you screech with delight...and afterwards, when you are all squeaky clean, we snuggle into each other and we breathe in your warm skin that smells just like lavender and honey.

we're having a heat wave

Not really...although I think today got into the 30s which in comparison is a nice and balmy mild day :)

We've been suffering through single digits here in Colorado and it has been a little miserable. Especially if you're a teacher and you've had three inside recess days in a row. Every teacher knows that inside days create the perfect alignment of wiggly bodies and loud voices that will pierce your ear drums instantly and make you so tired you could literally take a nap amongst the grimy pillows in the classroom library. 

I hurried to pick up Everdeen after school today and when we got home we snuggled under blankets and I turned up the heat, not caring that it would be reflected on our heating bill next month. These moments we have together after school are everything to me.  

It's been hard. It's been so hard to be back at work.

Especially after coming back from winter vacation.  Everyone tells me that it will get easier...but it hasn't.  I have a hard time justifying to myself that I spend eight hours a day with other people's children when I have my own baby to take care of. During the day I know she is having the most wonderful time with her Nana and cousin, or with her Grandma, or with her daddy on his days off.  I just wish it was with me too...

Only 17 more weeks left until beautiful summer vacation. I can feel the warm sun on my face now.  It will probably be too hot and I'll be wishing for those short winter days when we snuggled in bed together...under the covers with our hats on, in our pajamas, watching the snow fall out the window.

{2/52}

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Everdeen: You loved looking at the bright pictures of food!  Your daddy reads anything and everything to you and you lay so still and listen so intently.  Your little mind is growing, growing, growing every day. I know you will love to read one day too...using your imagination to take you to new places through the words that you read. I can't wait :)

a portrait a week {1/52}

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Everdeen: We rolled on the ground for hours, laughing, making silly faces and giving hundreds of kisses (of course!)

I am really looking forward to starting this 52-week journey.  What an incredible documentation it will be of this little girl's life.